Saturday, January 01, 2005
Daily Grin January 1
More snow for us today. We're pretty much resigned to staying in until we have to go back to work on Monday. I will have a lot of shopping to catch up on next week, but for now I'm just getting some much needed rest!
I'm really turning into a sofa spud!!! J
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Tips for the "day after"
* The best way to treat a red wine stain on beige carpeting is to open another bottle and do the whole room.
* If an entire beer keg was consumed at the party, you will need to bleach the bathroom floor and walls.
* To avoid embarrassment, put most of your empty liquor bottles into you neighbour's recycling box. You'll have time while he's at church.
* Expect to find off things in odd places. Check under the bed for glasses, plates, and guests.
* If the party was a complete disaster with excessive noise and property damage, leave with the guests and stay at a hotel. Then come home mid-afternoon the next day, stand in shock on your front lawn, and yell loud enough for your neighbours to hear: "What the hell happened here!?!"
Why does it have to be at your place anyway?
The best New Year's Eve parties happen at someone else's home. You've put a lot of work into renovating and redecorating and it doesn't seem smart to put it all at risk for a few friends and neighbours who won't offer to pay for the damage and in many cases won't even remember doing it.
If you start feeling pressure to have the party anyway (because you've never had it before, whereas everybody in your social circle has had seven turns each), point out the dangers of your home location, like the long distance to the nearest hospital and the short distance to the local police station.
Low Resolution
Resolutions ruin New Year's. I'm talking about the concept that there's something you haven't liked about yourself for the last 37 years, but you're now suddenly, tonight, going to get around to fixing it.
And you didn't even think of it until after the third drink. And didn't announce until after the seventh. You're just setting yourself up for failure. Don't do it. If you have to make resolutions, come up with some that have the potential for success. Like these:
* I will not eat anything I don't recognize
* I will strive to maintain my current fitness level.
* I will allow myself to be examined by a doctor, even if he has cold hands.
* I will be quieter, in deference to people who are intimidated by my unlimited knowledge.
* I will forgive all of my friends and loved ones and appreciate that I'm still way ahead on those exchanges.
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// posted by Daily Grin @ 1/01/2005 10:57:00 PM 
